Hej,
here i am.
I just needed a little bit calm. But now I'm back.

What can I tell u?
My new aim is 48kg until monday. And I think I'm weighing 50kg (or maybe 51???) atm so it isnt really easy to reach that aim.

My mum came on sunday and I tried to eat a lot the 2 weeks before she came because I was afraid of her reaction and that she'll call my ex psychologist etc.
So I gained 2-3kg and she came and said I'm looking great. Okay, that was what I went for the last weeks... But I'm a little bit disappointed anyway...

However, now I can start again (45kg until June 1st).

I've no touch to my good friend. It feels like his problem gets bigger and bigger and I don't know what I shall do because he doesnt wanna tell me what's going on so I'm not able to help him.

I wrote him that I'm so sad because we havent met since the beginning of march and that I miss him so much, etc. no chance. :(

KISSES

It's 6pm in Germany right now. 360 calories. I'll write it down now so I hope that will be a reason to fast the rest of the day. :)

Hey!!!

I'm back on track now.
Yesterday 550 calories and laxatives! :) Today I've had 175 until now but it's my second 500 calories-day! I'm on the ABC (Ana Boot Camp) Diet for the next 3 weeks, what means:

Day 1: 500 calories
Day 2: 500 calories
Day 3:300 calories
Day 4:400 calories
Day 5: 100 calories
Day 6: 200 calories
Day 7: 300 calories
Day 8: 400 calories
Day 9: 500 calories
Day 10: fast
Day 11: 150 calories
Day 12: 200 calories
Day 13: 400 calories
Day 14: 350 calories
Day 15: 250 calories
Day 16: 200 calories
Day 17: fast
Day 18: 200 calories
Day 19: 100 calories
Day 20: fast
Day 21: 300 calories

My aims:
Sunday 4/11 - 48 kg (106 lbs)
Sunday 4/18 - 47,5 kg (105 lbs)
Sunday 4/25 - 46,5 kg (102 lbs)
Sunday 5/2 - 45,5 kg (100 lbs)
Sunday 5/9 - 45 kg (99 lbs)

I'll use my scales on sunday and I'm very afraid cuz the last 2 weeks have been REALLY horrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't talk about it... :(

But now I'm back in the wonderful world of Ana I hope! Keep your fingers crossed for me that I'll stay strong!!! I need you and your support.

LOVE YOU!

PS: Especially for Asha cuz I know you read it: I'm so glad to know you, hun! Thanks for being there, thanks for being Asha and thanks for being a friend!