yes i did some kind of recovery the last time because my mum came here... but i'll stop it in process.
i'm losing my friends at the moment.
my best friend told me she can't handle with my ED so she doesnt want to stay in contact with me. another friend doesnt talk to me anymore for the same reason. and my good friend (that one i'm always telling about in my blog) is also leaving. but HE is going because of HIS problems. i've written a farewell email but not sent yet. i've not seen him for weeks. just last week he has been visiting me for ONE hour! then he left. great.
i'm really sad atm. now i'm going to weigh 45kg at the end of June. i'm not sure if i'll make that and i'm really afraid because always when i'm at home my mum is baking and cooking just favorite meals for me (she knows how to make me eat!!! fuck).
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
This is a Pro Ana blog about my weight loss from 55kg to 47kg. In summer 2009 I weighed 58kg. I started this blog on December 31 with 55kg. I reached my aim of 47kg in February. I gained much after that. My new aim are 42kg until the end of February 2011. Hope you enjoy reading my blog!
Dear visitor. In the toolbar on the right you find some informative links. At the end of the site you can go to former posts by clicking the link "older posts".
I'm sorry things are so difficult and that your friends don't know how to handle it. I can't imagine what it would be like to be the "other" person...to be in their shoes, watching people like us do what we do.
ReplyDeleteI think I need to give it up though...once and for all, just give it up. My goal of getting back to 92 pounds - and your goal of getting to 45 kg - why do we have them? What on earth will be better when we get there? Our friends leave us or we leave our friends, our health suffers, our minds suffer, every area of our lives suffer. It benefits nobody, and it destroys us.
And that's why I have to figure out how to let it go. I need to give up this part of me so I can discover all the other parts of me.
If at any point you want to do the same, I'm here for you. And if you're just not ready, I'm here for you too. Always.
<3