Hej huns,

how're u doin? have you seen the pictures of my dog in facebook? she's so cute! :)
ana isn't goin well atm. but better than last week. i'll come back. slowly but i'll come back.
i'm sorry that i'm not writing so much at the moment but its very exhausting with the dog (NOT because of the dog but because of the people comin for visit, bringin gifts, people callin on the phone askin "how's kisura??? how're u doin with her?" and so on!).
but i think in a few days nobody will ask for kisura anymore, haha... it's always the same, isn't it?

my friend (u know which one) is on holiday since today, what makes me a li'l bit sad. he'll come back in 10 days or so... :( no emails, no text messages, no hugs. :(

k/m..iss you

caty

I tell you something REALLY strange.
I ate like a pig for 1 week. I ate chocolate, pancakes, ice cream, french fries, cheese, cookies, drank cocktails with cream, etc.
3 days I've had more than 2000 kcal... the rest of the days 900-1500... I stopped on wednesday. That was my last binge day.
Yesterday I've had 420 kcal and took laxatives.
Today I went on my scales.... 47,2kg... I didn't gain anything!!!!
WHAT THE HELL????????????
I'm soooooooooooo happy guys! And I've had a really delicious week! :D

Today I've had 350 calories until now. maybe I'll eat a diet cereal bar later. Then I'll have 420 calories.
:)

kiss u

2000 calories. it feels like my body is taking everything back... :(
i want to be dead.

Hey, here I am again.
On monday and tuesday I nearly fasted. That was no good idea cuz after the fasting session came 4 days of binging! :( My laxatives didnt take effect for 3 times until I took 8 pills instead of 2-3... Now I'm back on track since yesterday. So I ate 500 calories yesterday and 250 today.
The last days (of binging) have been very hard so sorry that I didn't write... :( I've been so depressed and was ashamed cuz I'm such a bad ana.

kisses :*

gained 200g -> 47,2kg, BMI 16,92...

Because of no laxatives today I gained 200g. I'm really feeling bad today. Not because of the weight gain but because I think 60 min jogging was too much yesterday. My head is swimming and I feel queasy since I stood up from my bed. *gna* :(

It's 1pm in Germany right now, I'm drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes. Last night I thought about contacting a clinic for eating disorders for an out-patient treatment. Why? Because my aim were 48kg... And now I'm weighing 47 and want to weigh 45. I think I will not stop at 45kg... And I'm afraid. It's not losing a little bit for looking slim anymore... I want to appear skinny and bony... I think it's a full-blown anorexia relapse... :(

Edit, 40 minutes later: Crap, they will make me fat. I won't call'em.

Edit, 9pm: 430calories and no sports! :/ Tomorrow I'll walk again. Plus workout.

Yes, Alice. Of course those are my own bones! :)
I've been jogging slowly for 60 minutes today! WOW

Here pics for you...! I like it a little bit.

I didn't weigh myself for 1 week. Last weekend I binged extremely. I ate 1500-2000 cal on saturday and the same shit on sunday! From monday to thursday I ate 200-500 cal everyday. Yesterday I took laxatives.
My weight today:

47kg!

BMI: 16,85

:)

Just another 2kg... Then I will be happy. I will!

PS: I started sports on monday. 30 min jogging slowly everyday. Workout for the muscles every second day. :)

PPS: I'm drowning in my feelings, i'm feeling enchained. i'm feeling lost. starving is child's play. i need someone who wanna HAVE my love... i don't need someone who GIVES me love! i just want to give MINE!

SIZE ZERO I LOVE YOU

Hej my Anas

today I wore my pair of jeans, size 34, they were a little bit close (after eating and drinking), but it was okay, I could wear it all day long! =)

Does anyone know what a german 34 is in the USA? Sometimes I google that a size zero is 30, sometimes 32. I don't know, but I WANT TO KNOW THAT!!!!!!!!! :( Please tell me, if you know that! I'm just able to google perfectly in german. If I try it in english there's just crap. Maybe a native speaker can do it better?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Size_zero

On wikipedia they say a size zero is a european 32, but I can't believe that. Help!

Hey there! :)

Today was a good day. I've been at school and a collegue told me that I'd become really skinny. She wanted to know my weight and height, then she calculated my BMI and was shocked. She asked me not to lose more. I answered "just 3kg more", then she was shocked again (she is a teacher for sports, so I think she learned something bout ED in university and she told me that she has a friend who's weighing 35kg).

In my break I've been at my uncles and he told me that I look very beautiful. =)
(last monday my grandpa complimented me on losing weight)

It was fantastic today. I don't know my weight, I decided to weigh myself not before friday. It makes me crazy weighing myself permanently.

Hope you're doing well!

I'm okay. Just haven't time to write.
I was very hoggish the last days and the weight is stagnating. But I got my period today, so I found the reason for the binge behaviour and the weight stagnation!
Tonight I'll receive a visit until sunday. I'll write again on sunday or monday. Kisses!

Hey my dears,

today I've had a day with 480 calories. But it was a very tasty day! ;)
I wanna show you a picture I like. I took it today.



Hope you're doin well, I'll write more tomorrow! Good n8! :)

Hey huns,

48,1kg today. Although I ate 1000 calories on friday (700 calories for pasta with sauce).

I've a new ana recipe for you:


* Apple Carrot Pancakes *

- 100g apples, grated
- 100g carrots, grated
- 2 egg whites
- 2 table spoons flour
- sweetener

Stir everything in a bowl (sweeten to taste) then give it in a non-stick frying pan (make small pancakes). You can eat it with apple puree, fresh fruits, cinnamon, sugar or what ever you like. I ate it with low fat vanilla sauce and it was amazing!!!

vanilla sauce: low fat vanilla pudding mixed with 0,1% fat milk! ;)

The whole meal has 150 calories (without side dish).

The serving on the photo is NOT the whole recipe! It has (vanilla sauce included!) 100 calories:



PS: Feeling very huge today after I ate 420 calories. Fuck.